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Posts Tagged ‘spiritual’

Me & the Most Notorious Old Testament King

31 Jan

The Ghanaian media is currently experiencing a ‘Gargantuan Crimes’ fad, to the extent that the phrase is being used in reference to just about anything. Like, “Look at the gargantuan lunch you’re having”, or “My love for you is so gargantuan eh!” lol, you know how we [Gh] do. It was originally used by the recently-fired Attorney General in describing the nature of wrongdoings plaguing the incumbent government.

Well there’s this dude in the Old Testament who makes any gargantuan crime of any current government official seem like child’s play. What baffles me is that at a time when God was extremely active in king making, this king managed to remain in power for 22 years! I’m also curious about his wife, a woman who scared the legendary prophet Elijah out of his socks animal-skin flip-flops, a woman who is even used in modern day to describe evil, ruthless women who stop at nothing to get what they want; Jezebel.

So I called King Ahab up, and I was like “Yo, what’re my chances of getting an exclusive with you?” Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Limitless Possibilities –strictly spiritual

14 Oct

I’ve transformed. In the past few weeks that I entered the ultimate wit-testing, creativity-demanding competition, I’ve seen barriers dissolve into mirages. Today, I want to infect you with that.

You know I love small poles right? The kind of soccer you play with nothing but amateur skills and willing neighbors. Well, afterwards, all four of us got talking. The highlight of our talk centered on the reality of occultist backing to music and business moguls. Then I thought aloud; as Christians, why can’t we invoke the Holy Spirit into our plans and dreams? Why can’t we chant some Psalms at midnight? Why can’t we sacrifice some cash in the offertory basket? The others do it, but to an inferior spiritual backing, so why can’t we do it to the Author and Finisher of fates?

Is it because he’s so available? If God resided hours away in some virgin forest, would that have made the pursuit of Him more worthwhile? Is it because he is so accessible? If God could only be spoken with after severe body cuts, bloodshed and sacrifices, would that have influenced our opinion of how potent he is? Is it because of how simple relating with Him is? If God was swathed in a cluster of riddles and mysteries, would that have made a successful understanding of him more significant? Frankly, what do we want? What do you want??!

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Me & The Old Testament Boys Boys ii

13 Jul

So me and Solo ‘dems’ are still at the Accra mall food court having our swell convo. Last week, you saw a bit of it, but i didnt get to ask about their heart breaks (o yeah, they had relationship wahala) and what it took for them to be so successful, they tell us this week. And who am i to keep stalling right? So without much i do ado, here you go;

Me: one very important one; Success’ a big deal these days. Guys doing 419 and sakawa. Women doing ashawo and armed robbery. How did you guys manage to get so filthy rich with no back doors?

David: You gotto be ready mehn. When the right time comes, you gotto be ready. Cos with me, I had learnt how to play the harp and fly the sling way before Samuel showed up. When Saul started getting his fits, he sent for me because of my harp-playing skills, not my looks or my anything, but my developed talents. Later when I asked to fight Goliath, I already had some of his trust you know. So you gotto be ready. Obedience to God is a given.

Solomon: True, and you gotto know how to ask for stuff. You must know the person you’re asking something from, know what he’s passionate about and connect your request to his passion, I mean that’s what I did with God. Then you’ve gotto be generous and serious about God’s work. Cos that temple wasn’t easy to build. I gave it my all mehn, and I gave, I was really generous, and I don’t mean that in a naughty way, ask the Queen of Sheeba.

Me: Joe?

Joseph: Well, I guess, in everything you gotto keep your eye on the bigger picture. I mean there were countless times I came close to giving up. I’m an ex-con for crying out loud. But you gotto keep faith. And you’ve gotto believe in God and love Him. Not just for a breakthrough, because if you start to think he’s delaying you either question his omnipotence or his love for you. And that’ll make your relationship with Him, unsustainable. You’ve gotto decide that your allegiance to and love for him is unconditional.

And like my mehn Dave said, Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Me & The Old Testament Boys Boys

05 Jul

Hands up! Anyone who’s wished for the chance to ask Eve why she bit the Apple, or Cane why he killed Abel and lied about it to the Guy who has an eye in every square inch of space.

Hands up, anyone who’s wanted to ask Noah what he’ll have done if the flood never came, or Lot’s wife what she saw before turning into a pillar of salt. Okay, then you’ll envy me when you find out I actually got the chance. No jokes, I did. I really really did. But I just met up with three of them; David, Solomon & Joseph. Our chat was ttiigghhtt!

The twist is, when we met up, they all looked twentyish, irrespective of their chronological appearance in the Good Book. David looked kinda smallish. He had a gentle cut and his loafers, black three-quarter pants and sky-blue lacoste gave him a d-bee look.

Solomon had kept his hair, so it was tied in a pony. He wore a Woodin short-sleeved shirt over black corduroy pants and leather slippers.

Joseph was the finest of them all. He looked like Taio Cruz in a leather jacket with a white undershirt and stunners coming off some motorbike bi.

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Demystifying Evangelism- strictly spiritual.

07 Jun

You may have been deceived. All these years, how you’ve perceived it to be, its prerequisites, what you thought it involved…they may all be wrong. And in this 4 minute read I’ll paint a pretty picture and hopefully, you’ll see that you’ve been evangelizing your whole life…but not enough times about what matters most.

Evangelism is not the end product of a three-year bible school, a forty-day dry fast or even a special calling. It is not the reserve of spiritually mature prayer warriors or exuberant Christians with no life outside the church. It is not even exclusive to Christianity. If you ask me, ‘evangelism’ is as secular a word as ‘eating’, gossiping, texting, chatting, or jogging.

Evangelism is talking about something that excites you. Simple as that. When you were a baby, and your favorite food was ‘Tom brown’, each time you giggled when you were having it, you were evangelizing its deliciousness. Now that you are grown and can use the internet, each time you put a comment up, or recommend a page, or like a post, you are in fact evangelizing.

Scratch the thought that an evangelist is a blue long-sleeve-shirt-wearing, anti-cosmetic, anti-pork eating pious person who has a Bible at hand at any given time. You’re an evangelist even in a bikini and a g-string. The question is; what are you evangelizing?

Last week my friend Freda sent this text;

I KNOW THAT JESUS CHRIST CAME FOR ME. I TRUST THAT YOU KNOW IT TOO. WHY NOT TELL THAT OTHER PERSON WHO DOES NOT KNOW IT YET?

It’s so simple (96% of the words are single syllables), yet it packs so much truth.

For all the reasons why you might think that talking about a God –who doesn’t easily fit into your compartmentalized fast-paced life- is not your thing, I have a short story for you. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Jealous Of The Thief On The Cross

30 May

When I was little, well not so little. When I started seeing life proper, and a sexual climax was portrayed as the most intensely blissful feeling a man could ever have. When numbered Swiss accounts, friends in the corridor of immense power and terrific physique seemed the true definition of la dolce vita (the good life), for a long time I desired them more than what the Bible offered. Maybe if then, I had been shrewdly offered them, with conditions that subtly but eventually robbed me of my salvation, maybe I might have taken it. Most likely.

About the death of Jesus, I thought the luckiest man in the Bible was the thief to the right of Jesus’ cross. The one to whom He said “Today, you shall be with me in paradise.” I thought “wow! A life of orgies, adrenaline rushes, ruthlessly acquired wealth, grossly misused power and on the verge of death, I get a free ticket to Heaven? Could anything beat that? The best of both worlds.” If I ever wished that the Bible had evidence that revealed the exact date the second coming will be, it wasn’t so that I could intensify the aggression with which I evangelized or went about my father’s business, it was so that if I strayed away, I could clean up my act the day before Jesus returned.

Men who got to say the Sinner’s Prayer on their death beds seemed like such outsmarters of spiritual and moral justice. I felt it was a cheat to the rest of us who went out of our ways to lead chaste lives, to men like Joseph who flee from the luscious delectable supple bodies of women like  Portipher’s wife only to end up in the same after-life destination as the thief on the cross. A prostitute like Rahab, has her name in the most important book of all time when she spent more time sleeping with men for money than she did serving God. What a waste!

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The Survivor’s Instincts- A short, moving story.

08 Mar

This is no fiction, it happened just last week here in Accra. When my good friend, Sela told me about it, it made perfect sense that I told you too.

It’s relevant (for the purpose of this story) for you to know that Sela comes from a very prayerful family, but a few months back, her dad suffered a mild stroke. He’s perfectly fine now.

Late Tuesday night Sela’s mom’s phone kept ringing. It was past 10:00pm and the tired mother was sleeping. Concerned that the persistent rings would disturb her mom, Sela picked up the phone to see that the number calling was strange; unlisted. On the next ring, Sela picked the call and rudely tells the man on the line to call some other time; it was late and she wouldn’t wake her mom.

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Guest Contributer Joshua Amoah; Making Out- Nuggets of My Thoughts

14 Feb

When I first decided to read this note, it was out of obligation; Joshua reads all my blabbering and calls to commend me on the ones he likes the most. Then I saw the title, and thought it was universal and intriguing enough, then I read it and knew that it was a must read, not just for the thirty people who were tagged, but for everyone who’d like perspective on making out.

It’s rich, loaded and conversative. If my opinion counts for anything, then brace up!

RATING: This piece is rated ”as-long-as-you-care-enough-to-know-why-this-note-is-titled-making-out.”

YOU SHOULD KNOW: If you are married, all the talk about whether making-out is right or not by God’s standard doesn’t apply to you-that is only if you do it with your legally wedded spouse(of the opposite sex, I should add)

Ok. Now that that’s out of the way (I don’t want any trouble with any censorship board. not today. not ever.lol),

If you’re reading this, chances are; you’ve never made out before, or are making out but want a second opinion on it, given that it’s hardly(if ever) discussed in many public circles. But if you are, definitely take the time to read on and lemme know what you think about this matter we’ve turned into a “ghost topic”.

Personally, I think that Christian circles don’t force koraaaaa when it comes to subjects like this, and it’s killing us. I don’t know if we don’t talk about it because everyone is afraid of what aspects of their lives might be revealed during such discussions (You know? how people go like “eeeeeiiiii, so you too you’ve been doing it” in their heads, because of the thoughts we share-or do not share). Or if it’s because we think it doesn’t happen among “Christians” (Which would be nothing less than fooling ourselves.), or because we are just playing “no talk, no guilt” with ourselves. Hmmm.

Anyway, a very good friend of mine asked me what I thought about making out, and here it is,you’re your viewing pleasure: Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Why Did You Decide To…? – Strictly Spiritual

31 Jan

This post was birthed from a conversation with one of my most edifying friends; Joshua.  It’ll edify you, so don’t read if you have edification allergies.

Our lives are marked with decisions; every day we make dozens of them. Like right now, of all the things you could be doing, you’ve decided to read this. If in the end, it turns out to be full of inconsequential nonsense, you’ll feel like an arse for wasting your precious time. But if it turns out to be the most fulfilling bit of your day, you’ll commend yourself for deciding to.

What’s more important than the decisions we take, is what guides them. Why you would decide to return a carelessly dropped purse tells a lot about you. It could be that you weren’t brought up to pilfer. Or your current financial breakthroughs mean you don’t need someone’s cash. Or you’re afraid of being caught and called a thief. Or because you think the one it belongs to might need it crucially. As good as all those reasons are, they really aren’t good enough. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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The Lesson Abudu Taught Me.

10 Jan

Yesterday on my way to church, I saw a boy’s life slipping out of him like a woman out of a night robe. It must have been asphyxiation or something related, because the Kufuor bus he had been in was stacked with more people than a matchbox is with sticks.

His father and some elderly men were trying to resuscitate him the best they knew how. Screaming his name “ABUDU, ABUDU!!” like he could hear them if they raised their voices a notch higher. Like all that was wrong with him was a hearing disorder. Another man was smacking the soles of his feet and yet another was shaking him vigorously. I felt their fear as I stood by in my crisp ironed black trouser and neatly tucked in grey TM Lewin shirt.

Another man managed to stop a taxi. Fortunately the North Legon Clinic was only a few minutes away. In an instant, an unknown random taxi driver became the bearer of the keys to a little boy’s life. His rickety Opel Astra and his untried driving prowess didn’t matter so long as his horns blared loud enough and the car moved fast enough.

As I watched the taxi-turned-ambulance screeching away, Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Our Love Life.

26 Nov

Do you ever feel like you’re taking God on some roller coaster? One time, you’re all committed,  intending to be the best you possibly can. Then shortly after, you’re wading into the same waters you swore you wouldnt enter. Then you say the sinners prayer, return and the whole cyclye repeats itself. At a point you feel so worn out and exhausted. BUT STIIILLL, you keep going in circles, AARRHHH. well, this poem expresses exactly those sentiments…enjoy!

Our love life.

You call, I ignore.

You insist, I resist.

You persist, then I submit.

 

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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The Beauty of Sin- Controversially Spiritual

19 Oct

They are right who say there’s a silver lining in every storm, and an equal or greater good in every bad.  After regularly sinning for twenty something years, it’s only natural that I’ll understand the dynamics of it the more. Recently I’ve realized something quite beautiful about sin that does a lot more good than harm. Before you rush of to quick conclusions, will you allow me to explain myself?

In the past I was discouraged from doing so much good because I always questioned how significant it was from an eternal perspective. I’d think;” how’ll five minutes of shallow worship make any difference to my life as a Christian. If I don’t feel like praying or going to church and I do, am I not just wasting time? Won’t it only count when I’m soooo into it?” Read the rest of this entry »

 
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The Most Beautiful Letter I Ever Wrote!

20 Sep

Dear God,

If I was Hezekiah and you sent your prophet to tell me that I should put my house in order because I was about to die, what’ll I tell you? What’ll I ask you to remember so much so that you’ll feel obliged to give me 15 more years, even 1 year sef? Is it the 20 pesewas I give to those poor Sudan kids from time to time? Or the ‘noodles-like’ quiet times I have with you? Is it my gentlemanly, controlled dances at church? I couldn’t even come up with one major reason to confront you and demand an extra year!

When in heaven someday all my other brothers and sisters in you are showing off with basketfuls of evidence of good works done by being faithful and obedient to you, what’ll I show? The one or two things in my hand? I’ll be shy mpo. So please help me leave no stone unturned. May the only reason why I was unable to climb any mountain or overcome any hurdle in my life be because you willed me not to.

May I come to terms with Read the rest of this entry »

 
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How Hard Is It To Stand Out? – Strictly Spiritual (FYI)

07 Sep

Do you have the weirdest way of avoiding contact with anything that’ll subtly or profoundly convict you of something wrong you either did, or are thinking of doing? In some sinful mood (which you’ll never describe as that), all status updates that talk about God’s love become stuff you scroll past quickly. Because you know if you continue to read or take in more Godly stuff and go ahead to do that which you’re soooo bent on doing, you’ll be more irreverent and find it harder to say the sinner’s prayer afterward. Well I wrote this for you, because we’re in the same soup; you & me. If you’re so compromised you can’t go on reading this, that’s a terrifying indicator, but I hope you do return when you’re more ‘sober’. Ok buh bye.

If you’re still reading though, Read the rest of this entry »

 
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